Moving On

When I was just turned sixteen, I fell in love with a man who was twenty one and I had a baby and lots of family baggage. I left home to live with him almost straightaway, and obviously my parents were really worried. They tried to reason with him and that didn't work so eventually they gave up, and I didn't speak to my parents for a long time.

During the three years I stayed with this man, he beat me quite severely and played emotional mind games with me, which was actually worse than the physical abuse. He slept with lots of other girls. At that time, I lost all my friends because I complained about him to anyone that would listen until they got sick of hearing about him. I was very lonely. I lost a few jobs as I was always calling in sick and, when I was there, I wasn't concentrating! As I was playing the victim role, I gave up on my singing career that had been developing very hopefully. This was a big disappointment to my Dad, who is a singer, so I've always been around music and in and out of music studios.

When I finally left after three years of complete hell, I re-connected with all my friends. I began a new job as a waitress where I had some of the best times ever. My confidence grew, and I moved to London on my own but I still wasn't taking responsibility for any part of the relationship I had supposedly moved on from. I talked a lot about my awful experiences and refused to see any good that might have come from them.

It was then I came across your book (for a completely different reason by the way) and learned so, so much from it. Finally, I was able to see which part of my life I wasn't being responsible for; how harshly I was treating the new men in my life; how I was trying to punish them for my old relationship; and acting like a completely different person so they could never really get to me or hurt me. I was really missing out.

Then, nearly two years later, I met the most wonderful man who has changed my life. We are both so in love and our great relationship is equal and trusting. From your book, I learned how to take my life and guide it in the way I wanted it to go. I am now working as a learning support assistant and learning mentor in a pupil referral unit, and I get so much out of this job. Of course, I have my "off" days but who doesn't. I'm singing again and having meetings with record labels.

Sometimes it can get very scary when the chatterbox tries to take over and I think I'll lose everything. Then I remember, if I did for some reason, "I'D HANDLE IT!"

Thank you so much for showing me a different path.

Charlotte,
London, England